dream-awakener

you know your from la when..

You know you are from LA when….

You make over $250,000 a year and still can’t find a house.

Your child’s third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.

Your car insurance is as much as your house payment.

It’s sprinkling out, and there’s a report on every news channel about “STROM WATCH!”

You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.

You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.

You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.

You know what "PCH", and "the five" mean.

Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros.

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.

You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.

Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.
You can't fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.

You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.

You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.

You think that Venice and Manhattan are beaches.

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.

You have a favorite Thai restaurant.

When giving directions, you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."

Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your cell phone and tell them you're on TV.

You know that if you drive one mile in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.

You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.

You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, "They better not be blocking my parking space."

You personally know at least 5 people with agents.

You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.

You've gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house.

The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.

Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."

You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You have to leave the company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class.

The three-hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9-car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.

All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can’t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window-shopping?

A really great parking space can move you to tears.

As one writer puts it: “LA is not just another city, it’s another planet.”

posted by J.R. Woodward @ 12:16 PM